Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bulling

When I was a kid you never head of kids killing them selves because they were bullied, they would simply fight back, and come home with black eyes or lost teeth. But the times seems you have changed and today it does not seem to uncommon to hear kids committing suicide just because he/she was bullied. Just yesterday I heard of a fourteen year boy that took his own life because he was being bullied in his school unmercifully. I am sure you of heard cases like this. Of course I realize there has been a increase in such cases these days because of the advent of the Internet. But still the taking of your life over such matters is not the answer, the answer is to fight back, and protect yourself. Some will say you should report bulling but I have also heard this being done with no resolution. The resolution can only be achieved by confronting your attackers and show them you wont just stand there and take it.

Bulling consists of, name calling, teasing, pushing, threats, spreading rumors, playing means jokes, social exclusion to name a few things. Name calling means little, just call them a name back and walk away, it when there are physical attacks that you must drew the line. Keep in mind bulling is not only centered on kids male and female, adults get bullied as well, that is if they allow it. Not to mention if you don't do anything it, will only get worse. The new age of computer Internet and Facebook and other social networking only makes this problem even more perverse. However it is the face to face encounters where physical abuse occurs, not on a computer. So what can a child, young adult or even adult do when confronted with new age problem?

The answer to me as a martial artist is simple, learn to build confidence and good physical abilities to confront these problems head on. The best way to stop a bully is to face him or her head on and make it clear your not such an easy target of such assaults will not be tolerated. Usually this can settle the matter, but other times it will lead to a fight, then what? This is where learning a Martial Art can assist you when all else fails to settle the matter and you are attacked.
The martial arts builds self confidence in one abilities, by teaching the necessary skills to deal with whatever comes your way. Not to mention in a Martial Arts school you build very strong relationships and many classmates that will stand by your side if it is a question of large numbers of people bulling you. Large numbers of people standing by your side tends to deter any further attack from groups of kids trying to frighten you. Keep in mind I am not calling for gang wars here, I am just saying usually the person being bullied is alone and has no one to stand by them against large group of kids who tend to follow the leader bully. My Teacher always said when being bullied always go after the leader and the rest will back off after you put him or her down. I might add some of your best friends will be your fellow classmates in a Martial Arts school and if you ever find yourself with them in a street situation and confronted by a large group of people, you can be sure your classmates will be at your side, in situations like that you will never be alone.

Martial Arts installs confidence and the skills to deal with most if not all common confrontations. It is too bad those who feel they are in some way inadequate and don't try the study of martial arts, they are loosing a great chance to find ways to stop these personal assaults. I have seen the most shy, weak and timid of people turn out strong and self confidant when trained properly. They learn how to deal with any situations that may come their way in life. You can be sure of one thing, if people think your a push over, someone with be there to try it. However, it is also easy to spot people who just won't be pushed so easy and it is this type of person who is less likely to be picked on. If trained in the martial arts the attacker will be in for a big surprise when they try to confront a well trained Martial Artist.

Confidence has a way of showing up in your personality and most bullies will shy away from those who he thinks are confident in their abilities and not easy to push around. Bullies tend to be cowards at heart that is why they always try to find those who they think are weak and just cant take it, or wont fight back. Martial Arts has a very good reputation for changing people's opinions about themselves and building confidence to handle themselves very efficiently. This confidence shows up in the way you walk or talk and confront attackers and the chances are that alone with end the situation right there.

So in conclusion, if you feel you are being bullied and a polite get lost does not work that is the time to do something about it before it get worse. But before you can do that be sure you know how to handle yourself and that is where learning a martial art comes into play. Remember unless you can hire a body guard or have your parents walking around with 24/7 then it's all up to you to protect yourself. The arts was not meant to bully others, that is far from what I am saying. In fact Martial Artists are the nicest people you will ever met as long as you don't attack them.. It was only meant for self protection against those who would hurt you.

Sometimes no matter what you do, there is no way out of dangerous situations but to take a stand. This is the time the Arts is used for self preservation. Even if you trained for years and it saves your life just once, it is well worth the time to invest in a good Martial Arts training program. Training in a Martial Art will change the way you deal with situations for the rest of your life. If you learn to stand up for yourself people will back off more often then not, and really that all your looking for. As I have always told my students, "Fighting is the lowest form of compromise" if you can't talk you way out of it, and you and have to fight, your not that well skilled to begin with. But there are those time where just taking wont work and there is no compromise and you are forced to act, then you certainly don't want to lose, that where the Martial Arts comes into play.

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